Sunday 22 January 2012

Safety Tips for the LGBT People

by: Danton Remoto, Chairman Emeritus, Ladlad Partylist

Hate crimes against gays and bisexuals are on the rise. Philippine LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) Hate Crime Watch data indicate that 170 such crimes have been listed since 1996. Convenors Marlon Lacsamana and Reighben Lebilles lament the fact that our police forces still don’t index hate crimes under their list. The cases were listed as just homicide, or physical assault, with the usual suspects. They believe it is important to classify them as hate crimes since they single out, or target, a specific group of like-minded people with similar characteristics or concerns. Indexing the crimes as hate crimes would also give more impetus to the two LGBT Anti-Discrimination Bills now filed in Congress by Akbayan Party List and Bayan Muna.


It’s in this light – along with growing reports of assault and robbery that target gay men and bisexuals – that LGBT groups have issued safety tips for the community. I am sending out this advisory to the wider world of cyberspace.


Weekend cruise or gimmick nights. If you’re going out on a gimmick, it’s best to go out with friends and make sure you look out for each other. Of course in a bar you will drink, but don’t get drunk. Always protect your valuables. Don’t bring lots of cash, or leave your wallet or cell phone in sight.


Some reports we have received show that the victims’ drinks were spiked with drugs. Thus disoriented, the victims lost control and were either robbed or assaulted. How to avoid spiked drinks? If someone you meet offers to buy you a drink, go to the bar with him. Don’t leave your drink unattended. If you’re drinking bottled water, leave the cap on. Don’t sip from other people’s drinks. If you suddenly feel tired or dizzy, tell your friends about it, or inform the bar’s security.


In case you meet someone new at the bar or club, ask questions – name, who he’s with, where does he stay or work, among others. Introduce him to your friends, make sure your friends get a good look at him, so when the need arises, he can be easily identified. When a potential bad boy knows his mug can be identified later, he will have second thoughts about striking.


If you’re going somewhere else, make sure your friends know. If you’re going to his place, get his address and give it to your friends. Don’t bring a stranger into your house, especially if you live alone. But if you decide to do so, tell a friend that you’re bringing a guest home. It doesn’t hurt to bluff: Let your guest know (or think) that someone else is staying with you – a flat mate or a housemaid.


If one of your friends is very drunk and wants to leave the bar, tell him to stay first. Ply him with fruit juice or bottled water until he has sobered up. But if he still insists on leaving, put him in a cab and list the cab’s name and plate number. Or if he’s feeling unwell, drive him home or ask a friend to do so.


Cyber-cruise: Chatting and eyeballs.If you’re meeting someone you met in a chat room or n Facebook, meet him in a public place, like a cafĂ© or a restaurant. Text or call a friend and tell him where you’re going. If you go with him, get his address and tell your friend. Don’t bring him home if you live alone. But if you still do so, please check the precautions listed above. As an addendum, based on my very limited experience with eyeballing (just one, who turned up to be a cute school mate at Ateneo), meet him for afternoon snacks. In that way, if you don’t get along swimmingly, you can just say goodbye after a few minutes of chitchat. That’s better than lunch or dinner that went to waste because he was a no-brainer who looks like somebody the cat dragged by its teeth into the house.


All-night cruise: Gay cruising areas. Occasionally (read before classes open in June and in early December) the police would sometimes raid several public places frequented by gay men. The police swoop down in the guise of a drug bust, or in anti-prostitution raids. As a result, several gay men have also been arrested. Bear in mind the following:


Cruising is dangerous to one’s health. But if you decide to do so, remember that hanging out in a place, even if it’s a cruising area, is not illegal. In short, cruise at your own risk. However, when the police come (sometimes with the tabloid media in tow) and catch you having sex, you can be arrested for public scandal. Or they may book you for one or another form of unlawful behavior, i.e., breaking public property, such as street lamps, the doors of rest rooms, or some such. The police might also file charges against you, i.e., for vagrancy, loitering, littering, breaking the curfew (if you’re a minor and you live in a city with this ordinance). Therefore, always bring a valid ID, especially when they charge you with vagrancy or breaking the curfew.


Cruise control: Street safety. It’s possible that you’ll be harassed on the street, especially at night. To reduce risks, trust your instincts: If something doesn’t feel right, go away. Always stay alert and act confident. Walk with a group, and please do so in well-lit areas. Bring a whistle or a personal alarm, which may be useful in case of an attack. My friend – a straight one, by the way, who does aikido – brings a pepper mace with him, just in case.


Avoid walking through groups of rowdy young men. If you meet them, casually cross the road and avoid eye contact. Many a life has been lost in these strange islands because of eye contact – or singing the wrong Frank Sinatra song, like “My Way.” Keep your car key or house key ready, so it will be easier to go to a safe space when necessary. Know your city like the [/u]back of your hand, especially its trouble spots – and avoid them.


Verbal abuse. Verbal abuse and name-calling are often prelude to an attack. No matter how provocative these terms are, or how witty you are, your safety should be your main concern. Keep calm when being provoked. Most often, hecklers are encouraged when they see that you’re getting affected. If you’re alone and there are many hecklers, just ignore them. If you want them to have a taste of your wit, make sure you’re in a position to escape when assaulted. But if the heckler is drunk, there is no sense in getting angry or arguing back. If the provocation comes with threats of an assault, walk away as quickly as possible. That hurt ego will heal more quickly than a battered body. Report verbal abuse, especially when it comes with physical threats, to authorities such as the barangay captain or the police.


Physical assault. An assault can sometimes happen even when it’s not provoked, or despite attempts to thwart it. If you’re being attacked, get away and seek help. Stay calm and concentrate, but try to make as much noise to attract other people’s attention. Check if the attacker has a back-up group. If he has, find a way to escape as soon as possible. If you intend to attack back, hit in areas that can cause dizziness or pain, such as between the eyes, the throat and the crotch – then run. Remember as many details as possible – the face of the attacker, his physical features. Get immediate medical attention and have a medico-legal examination. Report the incident to the authorities – the barangay captain or the police.


Violence against lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people affects everyone. Every attack against one of us is an attack on the LGBT community. The growing reports of assault and murder against gay men should be a cause of concern not only for the police forces but also for the community.

Friday 20 January 2012

The Binabaylan



"A man dressed himself as a woman, ad with the gongs and drums beaten rapidly he danced, whirling round and round upon a matuntil weak and dizzy, so that he had tolean on a post. For a time he appeared to be in a trance. After restinga ew minutes he stalked majestically around the edge of the mat, exaggerating the lifting and placing of his feet and putting an arrogant manner. After walking a minute or two he picked up a red handkerchief, doubled it in his hand so that the middle of the kerchief projected in a bunch above his thumb and forefinger; then he thrust this into the flame of an "almaciga" torch. The music tarted anew and he resumed his frantic dance until the flame reached his hand when he slapped it out with his left hand,  and stopped dancing; then catching the kerchief by two corners he shook it ut showing it untouched by fire."


(The Wild Tribes of Davao District, Mindanao The R.F Cummings Philippine Expidition: Project Gutenberg. E-txt prepared by Carl D. DuBois


The Binabaylan Tradition is a form of Neopaganism Spirituality which practices the Old Binabaylan Ways. It is a reconstruction of the ancient practices and rituals of the Babaylans.

There are three important things which are valued in this form of earth-based spirituality:
1. Respect and value everything that has life.
2. Recognize the interconnectedness of all creation and its interdependence with one another.
3. Acknowledge that "supernatural" beings exist and seek to live with them in coexistence.

This revival of the Ancient Binabaylan Ways focuses more into healing, wisdom-sharing, preservation of culture, love of country, and establishment of a strong connection with the Ancestors and the Divine Ones.

Mga Katanungan Para sa mga Paganong Pilipino

Ako ay nagninilay-nilay sa kung ano nga ba talaga ang Paganismo at ang Paganismo sa Pilipinas. Kalimitan, ang mga kahulugang nababasa ko ay hango sa depinisyon ng mga taga-Kanluran. Kung akin namang ihahambing ang mga kahulugang ito base sa aking mga naoobserbahan sa mga nagsasabing sila ay Paganong Pilipino, sadyang may pagkakalayo ang dalawa. Anu nga ba talaga ang Paganismo? Magkaiba ba ito sa Paganismo sa sikolohiyang Pilipino?

Sa aking pagninilaynilay, naghanap ako ng mga kahulugan ng Paganismo sa internet. Habang binabasa ko ang mga ito at ikinukumpara sa mga naoobeserbahan sa mga Paganong Pilipino, may mga katanungang nais kong mabigyan ng katugunan.


Ang mga Katanungan

1. Ang Paganismo ba ay isang paraan upang makawala sa kuko ng mga pangunahing pananampalataya sa Pilipinas? Ito ba ay isang paraan upang maipakita ang pag rerebelde laban sa mga ito? Ito ba ay pwedeng gawing dahilan upang kontrahin o magbitiw ng mga salita laban sa mga institusyong ito? O sapat na ba itong dahilan upang panigan ang mga tumutuligsa laban sa kanila?

2. Tinatawag ba natin ang ating mga sarili na pagano dahil dito natin natagpuan ang acceptance kung sino tayo at kung ano tayo? At sa daan ding ito natin naranasan na ipamuhay ang buhay na naaayon sa ating kagustuhan at 'di pinapakialaman ng iba?

3. Tinahak ba natin ang landas na ito dahil may pagka “weird” tayo o gusto nating maging iba sa nakararami? O 'di kaya’y ipaalam sa iba na may kakaibang kapangyarihan tayong taglay?

4. Bakit karamihan sa ating mga usapan ay may pataasan ng kaalamang nagaganap? Ito ba ay kapahayagan na mas mataas ang antas na nararating ng isa kaysa sa iba? Paganismo nga ba ito?

5. Sa pagbabahagi ng mga ideya, kailangan bang may mga taong dapat mapahiya dahil naiiba ang kanilang paniniwala? Sino nga ba sa atin ang pwedeng maghusga kung tama o mali ang ideya ng isang tao? Bahagi ba ito ng paniniwalang Pagano?

6. Ang Paganismo ba ay puro mahika, psychismo, at pangungulam lamang? Ito ba ay puro potions, spells, pagkontrol ng panahon, pagtatawag sa lindol, atbp? Bakit kaya ang mga ito ang laging lumalabas at bukambibig sa bawat usapan? Ito ba ay dahil nagbabahagi lamang tayo ng ating karanasan at kaalaman o dahil nais nating ipagmalaki ang ating kapangyarihan at ang mataas na uri ng kaalaman na nakamtan?

7. Bakit sa mga pag-uusap o diskusyung nagagaganap, ‘di nabibigyang diin ang ispirtuwalidad at sa kung ano ang nag-uugnay sa atin? Talaga bang ang mahalaga sa isang Pagano ang mahika lamang? Bakit ‘di pa napag-uusapan ng masinsinan ang mga pamamaraan kung saan pwedeng magtulong-tulong ang bawat isa sa iisang layunin at mapalago ang ispirituwalidad ng bawat indibidwal?

8. Pagano nga bang matatawag tayo kung tayo ay nagbibitiw ng walang habas at walang paghuhunos dili ng ating mga saloobin at ideya, at inaasahan ang lahat na tanggapin kung ano man ang ating pinaniniwalaan?

9. Sapat na bang tawagin tayong Pagano dahil tinawag natin ang ating mga sarili sa katawagang ito? O ipagkalat sa buong pamayanang Pagano na tayo ay makapangyarihan dahil nagawa natin ang isang bagay na nabasa natin sa isang lumang libro na ipinamana pa sa atin ng ating mga ninuno bago pa man dumating ang mga tao sa yungib ng Tabon?

10. Bakit maraming tao ang nahihirapang unawain ang mga paniniwalang Pagano? Ito ba ay dahil hindi lang nila tanggap ang mga nakapaloob sa ating paniniwala? O tayo mismo ang gumagawa ng mga bagay upang tayo’y katakutan at mas lalo pang ‘di maunawaan kung sino at ano tayo?

11. Bilang mga Pagano, anu nga ba ang responsabilidad natin sa ating sarili, sa pamayanan, sa bansa, at sa sangnilikha? Sapat na ba ang pag-aaral ng mahika at gumawa ng mga bulong at engkantasyon upang mabigyang kasagutan ang mga 'di kanais-nais na nangyayari sa paligid?

12. Ang lahat bang nabanggit sa itaas ay makakagawa na ng depinisyon ng Paganismo sa sikolohiyang Pilipino? Kung makakagawa man ito, ano kaya ang magiging kahulugan ng salitang “Pagano” at “Paganismo” sa kontextong Pilipino?

13. Bilang isang Paganong pamayanan, Pagano ba talaga tayong matatawag, o mga occult dabblers? Totoo nga ba tayo sa ating mga sarili sa pagsabing tayo ay Pagano? Sino nga ba tayo?
 
 
Nawa’s gabayan, alalayan, at bigyan tayo ng tamang kaisipan ng mga ninuno, diwata, mga bathala at bathaluman habang tinatahak natin ang landas na kung saan Nila tayo tinawag.


Basbasan nawa!

Friday 13 January 2012

Same Sex Marriage: A Threat to Humanity?


If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  

 1 Corinthians 13:1-3, NIV


The Roman Catholic pope recently made a statement that same sex marriage is a threat to humanity. This statement was further supported by the CBCP saying that people of the same sex should not get married. According to the RC Bishop Oscar Cruz, saying that same sex marriage is okay is a big lie (haven't they already committed lies just to stop the RH Bill from being passed?). He said he sympathizes with the gay community, but personally speaking, sympathy is not what we (LGBT's) need - we need acceptance and for people to have open minds.

I am now wondering...

Why did the pope made such statements? Is it because he is homophobic?


Why not bring his focus to world poverty and hunger? Why divert his attention to the LGBT Community?  Is it because the LGBT community is a minority and they are easier to bully?

Isn't population explosion also a threat to humanity? Why not use his influence over his legions to carry out measures which will solve these problems?


How about priests sexually molesting children? Isn't it a threat as well? Why just keep quiet about it?


How about the internal armed conflicts in certain countries? They're not threats to humanity? Why not become a mediator between the two warring sides? I thought the religion existed  to promote peace.


I really cannot understand...


I thought they came to bring peace - but why there is so much hate in them?


I thought they came to unite - but why do they make divisions? Righteous ones against sinners... heterosexuals against homosexuals...

I thought they came to bring justice- but why did the child-molester priests run free? Why do they hide them?


I thought they came to set people free - but why do they take control even with the matters of the state?


I thought they came to promote love - yet they call it a threat to humanity...


When has marriage founded in love become a threat to humanity? Isn't it more threatening to marry someone because you are forced to? Or being obliged to be a wife of somebody in the hope of opening up your mind and not becoming a lesbian?


Same-sex marriage is founded in love. It is a commitmentof two people to love each other and live their lives together as one.

There are also people who say they know everything about love yet not love.


Now, who's the threat to humanity?

Tuesday 10 January 2012

The Once and Future Goddess: Reflection

The Goddess is Alive!
September 2011 of last year, a very dear friend and sister from Iloilo went to Manila and paid me a visit. It had been quite some time when we last saw each other so exchanges of news were done. I was indeed very happy, talking to somebody who is a buxom friend and who speaks the same language as I do. What made me much happier was the book she gave me.
“The Once and Future Goddess” was written by Elinor Gadon and talks about the Goddesses of the past, her story, and the modern-day Gaia consciousness. Being a Goddess worshipper myself, I was really impressed with how she presented the Goddess in a "herstorical" way without boring me. The pages were like a reality where one page brings me from one realization to another.

While going through the book, some insights struck me the most, so here I am writing this blog to share my reflections from passages which I found inspiring at the same time, knowledge-inducing.

1. Our psychological being has been severed from our biological selves for so long that we are completely cut-off from our true nature. (par.3, p.xi).

Reflection: The very reason why man has a never-ending search for himself and where he came from. Man has been living afloat, drifting towards uncertainty because he is not grounded and rooted with his true nature. Unless he connects to the very core of his being (which he will find the Goddess), he will continue on searching in vain.

2. While the Goddess has indeed had many names, many manifestations throughout human history, She is ultimately One reality. (par.5, p.xi-xii)

Reflection: The Goddess may be known by different names in different cultures. Her worship may differ from one tradition to another. But there is one sure thing – the Divine Female exists and She is ALIVE.

3.... Goddess religion was earth-centered, not heaven-centered, of this world not otherworldly, body-affirming not body-denying, holistic not dualistic. The Goddess was immanent, within every human being, not transcendent, and humanity was viewed part of nature, death as a part of life. Her worship was sensual, celebrating the erotic, embracing all that was alive. The religious quest was above all for renewal, for the regeneration of life, and the Goddess was the life force. (par. 3, p.xii)
Reflection: With man under the power of the patriarchal system of belief, his outlook towards Divinity changed. His beliefs were contained in a single book of “moral values” and “do’s and don’ts” based from a single male-dominant culture. He now desires to please a male god who has got loads of commandments, and where freedom of self-expression is repressed. Death became something to be feared, sensuality and eroticism being evil. Religious quest wasn’t for renewal anymore but for power and dominance over the weak.

4. Before the onslaught of patriarchy and the suppression of the Goddess, all that lived was bound to a sacred fabric, "the larger web of the life force", part of a whole. All were responsible to each other and responsible for the ongoing rhythms of life, death, and rebirth - humankind, women equally with men, animals and plants, rocks and rivers, the planet earth and its atmosphere. (par.4, p.xii)
Reflection: Dominion over the rest of the creation is now the trend. Man does not care how his actions would affect the rest. Responsibility for one another was deeply buried over self-righteousness and apathy. A single concept of morality is being embraced; criticizing and condemning those who have chosen to get out of the box. Man has become so arrogant in his ways forgetting the once nurturing and caring spirit of the Goddess within him.

 In our modern world, it is sad that people tend to live their lives with uncertainty and indifference. Good thing though, there are still people whom we can share our thoughts and visions without being disapproved of. Like my very dear friend and sister, Celeste, we may live miles apart and live our individual lives, yet, we are still connected. We both recognize we are connected in the woven design called life. We both know and acknowledge that the Goddess exists and is alive in us.

Excerpts from:
Gadon, Elinor. “The Once and Future Goddess: A sweeping Visual Chronicle of the Sacred Female and Her Reemergence in the Cultural Mythology of Our Time”. HarperCollins Publishers, New York, 1989.


2012 - A New Life for the New Year

There's this illusion that homosexuals have sex and heterosexuals fall in love.
That's completely untrue. Everybody wants to be loved.
~Boy George

The New Year. 2012 - A new life for me, having been home for the last two months from my adventures in Manila. For the past 6 years, Manila has been home to me. Now, I’m back to where I was born- the place where I belong... or do I?

My father, I and some childhood friends were outside our neighbor’s house for a "drinking session". Everything started out well and as the night came to its height, my father decided to go home, having me stay behind. After some time, I could hear my father shouting at my mom and I, being the eldest, went inside to check what was going on.

When I reached home, I told my father to have his rest - after all, he was already drunk. He then started yelling at me, telling me I was bullying him. Being innocent of the charge, I asked him how. He then shouted at me telling me not to question him, and being drunk myself, I courageously but calmly told him that he said something and I didn't understand him that was why I asked him to repeat what he said. He burst once again, and told me to live on my own and to leave the house. He said he saw me holding hands with a guy, who was my childhood friend, and he just couldn't accept it. I calmly told him again if there was anything wrong with me being gay. He just mumbled. Though I was drunk, I was able to withhold myself from speaking ill words at him - he is still my father. Though deep down, I was really hurt having my own father somewhat "disown" me and have me leave our own abode.

I then packed my things that night but my mom asked me to just go the next day and she would talk to my father when he’s sober. I heeded. Early the next day, I went to work as usual, bringing most of my things with me. The day went by. My mom and I met near my workplace and asked her how everything was; she disappointedly told me that when my father woke up, he began saying ill-words to my younger brother, who is also gay, and told him to leave the house as well. My heart just bled and was filled with disappointment. I guess there is no hope of him having a change of outlook towards gay people.

I am now pondering. Why is it that my father hates gay people so much? Why is it that his homophobia resulted to us, his children, being thrown away from home? Is it because he cannot accept that both us are gay? Is he so afraid of what people might think knowing that we are not straight? Is it because he wants to protect the family name? These questions will remain unanswered so long as his closed-mind stay closed.

In spite of this New Year incident, I am still blessed perhaps. My experiences in Manila with my fellow LGBT activists made me strong. I never lost myself as I am armed with the knowledge that I am a human being and I have rights to be respected. I have been conditioned to respect myself despite of my sexual orientation and gender identity. I have been taught to stand for my rights. I learned to accept myself for who I am. I am who I am.

This experience has led me to think and go deeper into the battle I am facing - the battle faced by most LGBT people – to be respected, accepted, and loved by our families and the society. I am blessed indeed, for I was prepared in facing such. What's bothering me now is, what about those LGBT people who do not know their rights? What about those LGBT children who are too young to defend their gender identity? What about those LGBT students who get bullied at school? What about those LGBT's who are stared upon or being shamed while going to work? Are they prepared to face such discrimination from the society? Do they just shun away and remain silent? Or do they just choose to repress themselves so that the society would accept them?

The New Year! I am back to where I came from. I am back to the place where I was born. I am back to fight a battle in opening the minds of people so that I, and the rest of the LGBT people here in Negros, will be accepted and can shout with pride: We belong!

Friday 6 January 2012

Isang Dasal

Sa ngalan ng mga ninuno at ng mga anito
Sa Dakilang Diyos at Maalwang Diyosang pumaparito
Sa mga diwata at nilalang ng lupa, apoy, tubig, at hangin
Ang dasal ay pakinggan, panalangin at dinggin

Nawa'y matigil na namin ang paglapastangan sa lupa at pagsira sa kagubatan
Sa halip, aming palaguin ang masagana at malusog na lupain.
Banal na Lupa, kami ay gabayan mo
Kami ay tulungan sa pangangalaga ng mundong ito.

Nawa'y matigil na ang paglason sa kahanginan
Sa halip, iihip ang malinis na hangin sa sanlibutan
Banal na Hangin, kami ay gabayan mo
Kami ay tulungan sa pangangalaga sa mundong ito.

Nawa'y matigil na ang pag-aaksaya likas-enerhiyang ginagamit
Sa halip, aming palakasin and pagtitipid at responsableng paggamit
Banal na Apoy, kami ay gabayan mo
Kami tulungan sa pangangalaga ng mundong ito.

Nawa'y matigil na ang walang habas na pagdumi sa katubigan
Sa halip, ipadaloy ang hangaring ang karagata't mapangalagaan
Banal na Tubig, kami ay gabayan mo
Kami ay tulungan sa pangangalaga ng mundong ito.

Nawa'y matigil na ang pag-aaway at iringan nga mga pananampalatayang iba-iba
Sa halip, aming makamit kapayapaan, pag-ibig, paggalang at pagkakaisa
Mga anito at mga diwata, kami ay gabayan Nyo
Kami ay tulungan sa pangangalaga ng mundong ito.

Nawa'y mamuhay kami na may pagkakaisa sa bawat nilalang
Nawa'y mamuhay kami ng may pagkakaisa sa sangkatauhan
Nawa'y magkaisa kami sa pagsupil sa tuluyang pagkasira ng mundo
At nawa'y magkaisa kami sa pagsulong nga kagalingan nito.

Bathala Nawa.


Isinulat bilang dasal para sa "Diwang Ilog Pasig: Daloy, Buhay at Pag-ibig" nuong Oktubre 17, 2009. Ito ay hango sa dasal na isinulat ni Selena Fox, isang respetadong guro, ritual artist, at paganong aktibista.